Soooo I finished my rewrite...
*hides behind the couch*
Sorry. I'm just not sure how I feel about it. Part of me wants to up the tension more at certain points, and another part is saying it's just fine as it is, and another part is saying "you're a terrible writer, why do you even bother?" and the last part is just leaning up against me crying because it thinks my writing will never see the light of day.
Does anyone else ever feel this way?
I'll be sending it off to a couple of new beta readers today, so that means no touchy the TARGET until they get back to me.
Here's my big issue with my own work: I LOVE Fantasy. I read it all the time, it's my favorite genre by far, and I really enjoy writing it. BUT every book I've written up 'til now has been quite short by Fantasy standards. My first drafts barely scratch 50K most times, and even this final draft is only 70.5K.
I'm not in the industry, and I might be wrong, but even for YA I feel like that's super short. I mean, I don't want to just throw extra stuff in there when it's not needed to tell the story. And at this point, adding anything more than there is would make it feel too long. (Except for maybe some worldbuilding tweaks here and there and sensory details (because I'm bad at remembering those the first time through).)
Anyway. Sometimes I worry. I'm a very sparse writer and I struggle to put details in where they're needed. It's part of the reason I never got into the Wheel of Time books (which I WILL read, just haven't yet), and why it took me four years to get through Lord of the Rings. I just DON'T LIKE WORDINESS.
It's funny, I listened to a couple of Writing Excuses podcasts where Brandon Sanderson and Dan Wells brought out their very first books they'd ever written, and read and critiqued them. And sure, they were "bad" or weak in a lot of ways, but the biggest thing that stood out to me was that they were SO WORDY. If I go back to my first book, it's not at all that way.
Why am I like this? I dunno. It's just how I write.
Anyway, the betas will have it this week, and in the mean time I'll tweak my outline for SUMMON (book two) and probably draft a little of the MG SciFi for fun, and we'll see what we get.
Have YOU ever felt like you have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other with your projects? Part of you feels like it's the best thing ever written, and the other says it's crap? What do you do to get past that?
Thanks for reading, guys. And keep writing.