Why I Write

I had a moment of realization the other day... call in an epiphany.

I write because I can't perform.

Allow me to explain... this might take a bit.

Growing up, in junior high and high school, I was in and out of choir, dance, drama, various stage shows, talent shows, cheer, and even choreographing and directing a couple things.


At age 17 I was running rehearsals with a 50 person choir made up of my peers while our director was out sick for two weeks not a month before our scheduled concert.

Then in college I was part of a performing group that did heavy choreography along with singing, I took multiple classes that required performing as the "final exam," I was a chorus member (dancer/singer) in various stage musicals including Kiss Me, Kate, and The Music Man, as well as playing Little Red Riding Hood in Into the Woods.

Then in 2005, I put my life on hold to serve a full-time mission for my church for eighteen months. This was a great experience, and I'm so happy I went. I was able to use my musical talent to touch the hearts of people I taught.

When I returned home in summer 2007, I met my husband. We immediately clicked and were married in December of that year. Since I was going to school, we were both required to work so we could afford it. Then in 2009 we found out I was pregnant. Our first son, Monkey, joined us in December, and I couldn't have been happier.

Monkey! 2.5 years old
I nursed Monkey for a year, and when he was weaned I remember talking to Brandon and bringing up the subject of me performing. Possibly auditioning for the local Community College show, where I'd performed in the past and I knew some people. But the rehearsal schedule was the same times as Brandon's school classes. As we talked, it became clear that it would require us getting a babysitter to put our little boy to bed at night. We didn't want that. We feel that it's important for us to be the ones taking care of our kids, and being there for them.

So I didn't audition.

Then, in the fall of 2010, I started a family blog. Just for fun, mostly, I didn't think much of it. It soon became clear to me that people were actually reading what I wrote, and they liked it. They commented on it, they thought I was funny, clever, witty, or thoughtful... and I honestly couldn't really believe it.

In March 2011, after a number of experiences that led me to it, I began to write my novel. The first draft was terrible... only about 50,000 words, and choppy. But I'd written it.

During this time, I brought up performing again. And again, we decided that the timing wasn't right.

So I kept writing.

Ribbit at 6 weeks old!
In Dec. 2011 I became pregnant again, and last month our second boy, Ribbit, joined us. I've been writing and creating this whole time, and I've loved every minute.

Do you see it? I'm a wife, and a mother. Those things are the very first and foremost in my life. Everything else takes a back seat to them, and I have no problem with that. But this fact remains: I have something in me that simply MUST create. I don't think I'd survive without the opportunity to put a part of myself out into the world whether through music, dance, writing, or something else. I never thought of being a writer... I never really enjoyed English class, or putting an essay together, or anything of the sort. Music was my life. But when that had to be sacrificed, when I COULDN'T go out and perform without leaving my children, my subconscious found another arena.

So here I am.

I'm a wife, a mommy, and a writer.

That's who I am. That's why I write. If you're a writer, why do YOU write?


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