Today - and every day after - I want to focus on prosperity.
Sunday evening, Turner, Monkey, and I drove to my parent's house to hang out with them for a while. On the way there we got to talking about life, and our plans, and such... then I turned to him and said,
I literally choked up just saying it, because I try to believe and have faith that everything will work out the way it's supposed to, but sometimes I get so tired of trying...
at everything... being a mom, a wife, a writer, a babysitter, a friend, a teacher, a leanpost, and more...
It's really hard to have faith in something when you have no proof of it, and can see no possible way of it's coming to pass. It's hard to press forward when you aren't sure which was"forward" is...
That's how I felt.
Turner said, "Really? You've seemed so happy and productive lately, I never would have guessed you felt that way."
That's encouraging... but it didn't change how I felt.
See, a number of months ago, when we decided to have Turner go back to school, I made a dream-list type thing. I said that by early 2012 (like, before April) I wanted us to have a certain amount of income, be pregnant with our next child, and be living in a home. When I set these goals, I felt like they were reachable, and righteous - things that the Lord would want us to have, so that we can grow our family.
So, here we are in December of 2011, and I can't see how that's going to happen... it honestly makes me want to give up. However, the time is not yet up, and I need to continue to have faith.
I've been drawn to do certain things recently... whether the things I want will come through that avenue or not, I have no idea. What I do know is that these things are making me a better person in the process. I need to continue to learn, grow, and progress. When I do, blessings will come. Sometimes not in the way I expect, but they will come.
Prosperity and Patience,,
P.S. What do you do when you want to give up? How do you find the will to press on?
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