(Apologies to those of your who read both this and my personal blog, this post is up on both.)
Well, I guess this was my third official mother's day as an actual mother. Two years ago, we knew I was pregnant with our son, and last year he was five months old. This is us on mother's day last year:
He hasn't changed too much :-)
Gotten a bit bigger, and cuter, but otherwise he's still looks the same...
I love my little boy so much, and I am truly grateful for the opportunity to be his mother. I know there are so many - some of them very close, dear friends of mine - who have not had the multitude of blessings I have.
I'm sorry to say that sometimes I take it for granted.
There are days when it seems to become too much, when I just want to go away for a while, or go back to being just a wife, or even being single, or... *sigh*
And I feel terrible when I start thinking those things! Because I know that I have been blessed with things that some others dream and pray for... I don't know why either. When I became pregnant, we weren't trying to have a baby, in fact we were trying our best not to. But the Lord saw fit to bless us with a sweet little boy, and my life has not been the same since.
When I look at my friends and family who have had to struggle with infertility, miscarriages, stillborns, or had a child pass away after only a few hours, or even after two, four, or ten years... Those are experiences I cannot comprehend. I haven't had to go through those trials, at least not yet, and I'm sure my dear friends would join me in hoping I never have to. These women are great examples of strength to me. And I hope they all know that I wish them a happy mother's day.
As for my own mother, I was talking with her earlier today, and she mentioned that she didn't like mother's day.
"What?" was my response, "how can you not like mother's day?"
She explained that while she was growing up, mother's day was a day for everyone to say, "my mom's so great!" "my mom's the best! she's amazing! she's incredible!" etc... you get the point.
And as much as she feels that way about her mom, she feels a huge amount of inadequacy in her own role as a mother. Receiving those kinds of compliments seems to make her doubt her ability even more.
That made me very, very sad.
It makes me feel like I, as her daughter, am doing something wrong... My mother is amazing! And she should know that! I should be telling her every day how much I appreciate her and everything she's done for me. Sure she's not perfect, but who is?
She has raised three awesome kids to adulthood, and has two more on the right path.
She has given us a spiritual foundation that will help guide us through our lives.
She has helped our dad to provide for us.
She has taught us that there can be happiness even when things aren't perfect.
She let us have pets!
She drove us to all our activities.
She has always been there when we needed someone to talk to.
She is supportive,
and a true friend to her children.
And those are the things that matter most.
(well, I guess the pet thing isn't as important, but you know what I mean :-)
I love my mommy.
I've learned so much from her.
And I want her to know that of all the mothers out there, she is the perfect one for me, and I'm glad I was raised by her.
So give your mom a hug.
And make sure she feels loved,
because even if she doesn't feel "awesome" in her abilities,
she should be awesome to you.
I love you Mom
And so does your grandson :-)
Darci - The Page Traveler