But I totally answered that the other day, so I'm skipping it.
Instead, I'm going to share a letter with you, which I am thinking about making a regular thing. I've been feeling lately that I need to record my feelings more often about raising and teaching my son. And what better place to do it than here, where I can get encouragement and love from my friends. That is, after all, one of the reasons I started a blog :-) I think I'll usually do these on Mondays, but since we're going to be out of town this weekend, I won't have internet on Monday, and won't be able to post. So, this is the first of many "Love, Mom" letters, from me to the J-boy. Enjoy.
[Written 17 May 2011]
Oh my goodness..
It's days like this that make me wonder if you'll ever learn anything from me...
Days when you are trying so hard to assert your independence and see how far you can push the boundaries, and all I can do is stop you from doing things that will hurt you or something else, hold you while you cry, and tell you how much I love you...
I'm so sorry that it feels like I'm limiting you. I'm sorry you're teeth hurt. I'm sorry I can't just make everything all better. Believe me, if I could it would already have been done. You are my joy! My sweet little boy. I love everything about you! I love how much you love your little Red Bear, I love your cute little smiles when we play, I even love hearing you crunch into popsicles or the vitamin C's that you love to eat!
This time of your life is rough, with both of us trying to figure things out. I'm new at being a full-time-mommy to a toddler, and you're new at being a toddler. You want everything right now, and I want you to take things slowly, to enjoy life while you can.
I don't know what else to say, besides I love you.
I love you.
Those words just can't convey what I truly feel for you.
Words like adore, admire, cherish, treasure, value, prize... even they aren't enough.
The deepest parts of my soul are completely devoted to you and to your father. The two of you are my whole world. If I didn't have anything else, I would still be happy and content.
Just bear with me, okay? I know that we're both doing the best we can, and it's hard right now, but everything will turn out all right in the end, you'll see.
We just have to keep at it. Especially on days like this, when it all seems like it's not worth it and we ( I ) just want to give up. But if we press on, knowing that it will get better, then it will.
I'm so excited that you're starting to communicate! I love hearing your new words and seeing you begin to understand new things. I know you want to do everything and be everywhere all at once! But please trust me when I tell you not to do something, or that when I say "no", it's for a good reason! I've been around, I've made mistakes, I can help you not to make the same ones, if you'll let me.