I had the wonderful opportunity to go to a reunion for my dad's mother's family over Memorial Day Weekend. The reunion was in a small town here in Arizona, that I haven't visited for years. When we drove into the town, this conversation followed:
Husband: Okay, so where are we going?
Me: No idea.
Husband: Who are we looking for?
Me: Um... I don't know...
Husband: Do you have any names of anyone? Any names at all?
Me: I don't remember...
Husband: Okay. We'll just drive until we see a group of cars...
Luckily, it really is a VERY small town, and when we did find a group of cars, it was not the right place, but they told us how to get where we needed to be.
Anyway, over the course of the weekend I was so touched by the love and connection I felt for these people who I hadn't seen in years, (as well as that of my husband's family who let us stay with them even though we were attending a different reunion!) and as I pondered this, my mind went over the general condition of the family unit in our society.
As a result of these thoughts, this will be the first of two posts explaining my beliefs about the family unit. I feel, as I'm sure many do, that the family unit is breaking apart. The traditional organization of father, mother, and children is tearing at the seams. When I look back on the most successful times of any civilization, it is usually (to my knowledge) when that organization is intact. Over the past 50 years, the traditional family has become less and less standard.
Men are being accused of being too masculine, told that they're being mean, or inappropriate, or "you don't want to be that kind of man"...
Women are being told that their natural instincts of gentleness, sympathy, and compassion are weak. We are told that a "real" woman is strong, bold, and overbearing.
We are made to think the men ought to be more feminine, and women more masculine. Well it's no wonder the occurrence of homosexuality is higher than it's ever been.
Let me begin at the beginning. It is my belief, and testimony, that men and women were created by God, in His likeness and image. And that the family unit is not only essential, but central to and I mean the very point of God's plan for us, as His children.
Now, as far as the family unit is concerned, men and women have specific roles there, (which I will go into in a moment,) and I believe that a child is best raised when they have both a strong mother figure, and a strong father figure. Whether these are married, divorced, or actually a grandparent, aunt, or uncle, it is essential that they be in a child's life. Obviously, a happily married mother and father is ideal, but I understand that things happen: death, divorce for whatever reason, or -incomprehensibly - abandonment. But regardless of the circumstances, when a child grows up seeing a man who treats women with respect, who is strong, and leads a good, happy, clean life, along with a woman who is gentle, content, firm and resolute, who treats men with respect, this child will (more often than not, there are no absolutes) turn out to be a well rounded, happy, young man or woman.
I know some would say that just because those things are absent doesn't mean a child won't grow up to be a good kid, and they'd be right. My point is simply, that it is more likely to happen, in the circumstances I have described.
I also believe that men were made one way, and women another, and they were made to fit together in a very intimate way; (1) physically, (2) mentally, (3) emotionally, and (4) spiritually.
Today we'll talk about the first two aspects, physical, and mental.
Well, that's pretty obvious. I'm sorry to be so forward, but I have to be honest here. Two men or two women simply cannot fit together the same way that a man and a woman can. I'll be frank and say that I disagree with the practice of homosexuality because of this and many other beliefs I have. I will say that I know a lot of gay/lesbian people, and I consider them friends, but I always make sure they know where I stand on this point. I don't bully them, and I don't make fun of them, I simply disagree. It really does bother me when homosexuals are ridiculed, but that's a conversation for another time. They are free to make their own choices, and I mine.
My point here is this: homosexuality goes against the plan that God has for us. Men and women were created to fit each other for the purpose of creating an intimate connection, as well as creating life. The powers of procreation involved in this connection are sacred, and should be used ONLY between married men and women. When this rule is followed, children are born into a stable family unit and those figures I mentioned above that each child needs are already built in. Therefore, this physical aspect is very important to the success of the family unit.
Having been married for only three years, I won't pretend that I'm an expert on any of these topics, but I will share with you what I've learned. My mind is a mess. Not as bad as it could be, I'm sure, but it's still a pretty crazy place. My husband is still trying to figure it out. I can go from being perfectly happy one minute, to offended and hurt the next, and be in such a state that I have a hard time articulating exactly why I reacted the way I did. I tend to get frustrated at random times, I have a hard time motivating myself, and I don't like it when people tell me to do things. I am getting better at all of these, but only with the help of the main man in my life.
My husband's mind, well... I don't really get it either. But I know that when I am going crazy, he is calm. When I get frustrated, he makes me laugh. When I cry for no reason, he doesn't ask why, he just holds me until I feel better and can tell him what's wrong. He is the perfect balance for me. I have a lot of girl friends who I could talk to about a lot of these random things, and sometimes I do. But it's just not the same. Men and women complete each other mentally. I've heard people say that men's minds are full of boxes, and women's are spaghetti. This sometimes applies to us, and sometimes it's opposite, but one thing is certain, that we complete each other. And I've heard many other married couples say exactly the same thing.
All in all, these things are part of my current family life, and were a part of my family life growing up too. They are important to me, and dear to my heart. Thanks for taking the time to read today.
Darci - The Page Traveler
I hope I made sense here in trying to explain my beliefs. Please remember, I'm not trying to push my views on anyone. And please refrain from doing so in the comments here as well.
At the same time, I'd love to hear your thoughts? What do you agree with? What do you not agree with? What experiences can you share regarding the mental/physical connections between you and your spouse? And if you have a second, feel free to share this post with your friends on facebook or twitter. I'd be very grateful for that :-)