|Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities|
Mr. Sydney Carton is more complex than, at first, he seems.
Upon my first official introduction to him, he looks to be a man of no ambition, carefree, simply floating through life wherever things take him. However, toward the end of chapter five, we see a different, sadder, almost bitter side of him. He is jealous of the man who was set free during the trial. He wishes he had the life of a gentleman. We see in the same chapter that he is very smart, very capable, has talents and abilities... he just seems to have always been in the wrong place at the wrong time. We see him finally break down, and I nearly cried as I read it. This man, it seems, has always tried to help others to the best of his ability, yet nothing and no one has helped him. Here is the last paragraph of that chapter:
Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities, and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning himself to let it eat him away.
I don't know about you, but I've felt like this.
It feels as if the world is entirely against you, and nothing you do, no matter how big the effort or how well performed the task, is good enough.
It makes you want to sit in a corner and cry to make it all go away.
It tears at your heart, tugs at your soul, and you feel like there's nowhere to turn.
I sincerely hope that Sydney Carton grows to be the man he truly desires to be in the course of this story.
(No, that's not all I read, but it's not much more... It's been one of those weeks...)
If the world is against you, give it a fight to remember.
I will say though, that in the moments of fear, doubt, sadness, and grief that I personally experienced, I have been blessed with the knowledge of a God in Heaven who loves me, and His spirit constantly comforts me in those times of pain. I believe that God lets us suffer the pains that come to us for a reason. We learn from them, and are strengthened by them. If Christ suffered beyond comprehension for us, then surely we can bear the trials that we pass through with His help to strengthen our weaknesses.
Perhaps if Sydney Carton had had this knowledge, he might have risen to his potential earlier than this? Perhaps not. "We can never know what would have happened. But what will happen is another matter entirely."* If you are in this valley of insecurity about yourself, then please, know that you can get out! We are, all of us, amazing beings, meant for greatness. If there is something you want to do, get out and make it happen! You CAN! I believe in you :-)
May all your dreams become reality,
Darci- The Page Traveler
*Spoken by Aslan to Lucy, CoN Prince Caspian, movie